suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
