I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
