My nipple is on Facebook.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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