I didn't shave. On purpose
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
