I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
