worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
