I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
