Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
