some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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