I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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