Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
