i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
