I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
