I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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