I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You made out with two different species that night
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
