You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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