my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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