Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
