no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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