508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
