real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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