Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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