I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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