The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
