at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
