Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
