Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
