This girl is more easily done than said...
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
