I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize