I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
