My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
