I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
