bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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