i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
