All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
whose ass print is on the piano?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
