I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I want to have your abortion
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
