If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
