Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
