Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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