are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
