his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
and she was petting her beer can
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
