I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
