Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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