I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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