so let's talk penis.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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