Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I wear drunk well.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
