i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
