wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
