I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
