Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
