i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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