I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
