I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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