I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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