you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
