matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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