I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
