ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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