I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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