R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
